April 12th, 2012
Stim Day #7 – same regimen.
2nd mid-cycle US – Left – 12; Right – 5
It was very obvious that I had several follies on the left, but they were all different sizes. Right ovary was still only responding a little bit. I was very discouraged during the ultrasound. I was sad and irritated. I was really hoping that my right ovary would have sprouted some new ones. I wanted to get out of there so I could start crying. But, I had errands to run and surprisingly after about 30 minutes I was back to myself. I am still a little disappointed and sad, but I think the Lord lifted my spirit for me. I didn’t shed a tear, and I just had to move on with the rest of my day. Maybe I just do not have any more tears to shed. Maybe it is because I do not have the energy to recover from a crying hangover. Maybe I will not stop, if I start. Most likely the Lord is giving me just enough strength to get through each day of infertility. I have no other explanation that just enough sadness could be lifted to keep my tears at bay. Just when I think I am about to fall apart, I am lifted just high enough to go on with peace. Thank you Jesus! I will call my PRN line for more information this afternoon
PRN line – E2- 1494, continue same, return Saturday for next US and blood work. The IVF coordinator said everything looks good, but they also said that last time when my doctor decided to cancel the cycle. I think her “good” means that we are still going forward. It is what it is, I am just hopeful that there will be more follicles the same size come Saturday. Praying that my right ovary shocks us on Saturday and spouts a few more friends! I have a feeling that I will make it to retrieval this time because I think this is probably as good as it will get for me. I do not mean that negatively, just meaning that I may never produce more follicles in a given cycle than I am today. On the other hand, I am very grateful for the ones I do have. Some women may only produce 1 or 2, or none. So, it is definitely not like that, for which I am very grateful. I think I just had high hopes that I would be in the “optimal” range to increase my odds. Thankfully, the Lord doesn’t need better odds to assist Him in the outcome that has already been set. It only takes one good little embryo! Moving on! This writing is good therapy.
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