WELL.........

SO...... Our transfer was November 4th and I started taking pregnancy tests the following Thursday.  I started testing with the twins 6 days out from a 5 day transfer and got a positive that first test. This time I waited until 8 days out from a 5 day transfer(I tell this part because people going through infertility WANT to know those things!). I could have sworn I was seeing double, so after wiping my eyes, holding the stick in various lights, and giving my best squint.....it was confirmed......there were two lines!!!! That second line was OH so faint, but it was there!!!!!! I was COMPLETELY shocked that it turned positive! Disbelief really. I really thought how in the world could I get pregnant again, especially after mixing up my medications so many different times. The bottom line is....GOD is in control of life!! I did my VERY best and ultimately He decides!!! I mean, people get pregnant on heroine for peats sake! I also tried to make myself believe it wouldn't work so I wouldn't get my hopes up too far from reality!

I took a test every day leading up to my blood test and it only got more positive each time!!! YAY!!! My HcG was 92.5 and at this same exact time with the twins it was 161!! So perfectly on track!!! One week later with the twins to was well over 3700!!!!! Obviously, this one won't be as high because it is only one!!! UNLESS......it splits!! I can dream can't I?!!?!

We know it is VERY early, but we want to be EXCITED that we are pregnant today!!! I am SO happy that I can even get pregnant again!! That in of itself is such a blessing!!! We hope to meet Lasty next July, if that is God's will for his(yes I think it is a boy) life! Today, we are 5 weeks and 1 day!!!

I will go back Monday for another blood test and then the following week for the ultrasound!!!! I can't believe I get to have another ultrasound!!!! WOO HOO!!!!! Thank you for all your prayers and support!!!

OH LASTY!!!!! HERE WE GO.......AGAIN!!!!!

OH LASTY!!!!!!

Some of you may remember that we had ONE little angel(embryo) left from our initial fresh cycle IVF in 2012. We have five total that made it to the embryo stage, the first two didn't take, then the next two were Hew and Harry-WOO HOO-, and that left one little friend. He says, “ it has been winter forever in here”! HA!! We have so cleverly named him/her LASTY!!!! We started medication early September and had our transfer of Lasty on Wednesday afternoon! Everything went as planed! This round has been COMPLETELY different for many reason, some of which you can guess. The biggest difference is I have Hew and Harry, I have experienced pregnancy, I have seen my children in my womb, I have heard their heart beats, experienced delivery, picked names, nursed them, and pretty much everything else you DREAM of doing as a mother. That makes this experience VASTLY different. Their is no devastation, heartache, pain, wonder, or what if while going through this round. The ONE thing I wanted so desperately, I now have!!! PLUS.....NO TIME to even think about it!!! Toddler twins….need I say more?!?! 

I know I will be sad if it doesn't work, but it will NOT compare to previous failed cycles or lack of pregnancy for 48 LONG months. It just makes me ALL the more grateful for the TWO lives God has given me. SO many women are still struggling to even have ONE, so I will not complain or pretend it is the same as what they are still going through. Infertility is definitely hard no matter what because you want to JUST get pregnant like you normal people, but once God has blessed you with your own children it becomes dramatically different!! For me, it has been important to not lose sight of the fact that God has BLESSED me beyond measure with my boys. It is SO easy for us to get the one thing we have longed to have for so long only to want more and more, never really being completely satisfied. YES….I want more!. YES….I will be sad if I can’t have anymore. BUT…..I will always look at my two little beautiful faces and remember to be grateful. Remember God answered my prayer ABOVE and BEYOND!!! Remember that there are countless women who continue to endure the struggle childless and many more who’s time has already passed! 

If I am being honest, I feel as though this one may not work. And not in a "woe is me" kind of way! So don't be sad! :-) I don’t know why I feel this way and I will be surprised if to does work. Maybe it is God’s way of protecting me and keeping me grounded in reality. I had this same feeling with our first cycle that didn’t work(except in devastation) and with Hew and Harry I actually had a peace that this was it. OF COURSE, these are just feelings!!! Feelings can make you think anything and everything under the sun! I may feel this way because I messed up several medications with regards to timing, start dates, etc! Did I mention TODDLER-TWIN brain!!! I don’t even know what day it is!! LOL!!! 

Ultimately, life is ALWAYS in God’s hands. I am not in control. I did my best. I have the best doctor(Dr. Shauna McKinney). If it is meant to be for us to meet Lasty……then we will!!!! The future of this little friend has already been written in time. We are hopeful, but realistic. Today, I am just grateful. Grateful that Lasty survived the thaw and that the placement was ideal. Grateful that I have two precious, healthy boys and they are MORE than I deserve. I want several more, but I remember telling God I would be forever content if I just get to experience pregnancy even once! He has already fulfilled that dream!!! 

And if this doesn’t work….if MUST mean that we are to start ALL over again because He wants us to have twins again, right?!?!! :-)  

I LOVE these photos!! Life is SUCH a miracle!!!!