EXCITING NEWS and a few days overdue! We got not one, but TWO embryos this cycle!!!! This is SO huge for us! I had truly prayed for just one embryo and anything else was a bonus. He answered above and beyond. We now have three frozen embryos and plan on doing one more banking cycle in a few months in hopes to have 4 total. Then, start transferring in the spring with prayers for more twins! Thank you cannot express what each of your comments and prayers have meant to us. I have read each one and shed tears many, many times. I am praying for so many of you who commented about your current journey with IVF and rejoiced with those of you who got your miracle babies after so much struggle. God is good…..ALL the time….in the good and the bad. He is there regardless of the outcome.
I did pretty well during the 6 days of waiting......three year old twins really help that along. But I would be lying if I didn't tell you that I had a few hours of sheer anxiety and fear come over me on Tuesday morning(the day we found out). I started thinking "what would I do if none of them made it?" I kept checking my portal for the details like a crazy person. All logic went OUT the window. I have basically convinced myself that I was on the call list.....FYI....the call list is bad....that is what they do if the info is bad....like your pregnancy test is negative(been there), or you have no embryos that have made it. I felt completely paralyzed and numb, like tingling all over for three hours. I felt sick and sad, alternating with moments of logic because of course this is sheer speculation, but also a very real possibility. I broke down. Don't forget the crazy hormones, they sure don't help a girl out. Then, I checked again, and there it was, two babies. One 3BB and one 2BB. My two embryos and in that moment, I looked at my sister and said....there are two. I sent a screen shot to Rocky and called balling. Like the real ugly one. It is a roller coaster, but this ride gave me my Hew and Harry, and I would do again 10 x over just to be their mommy!!!
This number 2 means so much to me because when we started this year we went into it planning on 4 different IVF cycles. We had the schedule(infertility is A LOT of precise scheduling) and planned on a cycle in January, April, July, and November. In April, my fave time of the month didn't come and I had to skip that one. I was devastated because I had my heart set on the 4 embryos, but those with infertility know all to well that your body just doesn't always cooperate(which feels like that part is basically all the time with a few moments of cooperation). I cried, but through this journey I have learned I am not in control, and never will be even if I pretend to be. So, I quickly gave it to God. It wasn't meant to be. I don't know the reason, but I trusted that God did. Sometimes we get ahead of God and that is where the biggest disappointments come because our expectations were misplaced. Fretting also wasn't going to get me anywhere(#beentheredonethat) and fretting actually means that I didn't actually trust that God had a better plan. So, when I saw TWO embryos(the cycle in January we got one), I knew God was saying to me....I got this.....once again. So, to most of you it is just a number, but to me it is one more reminder of many that a He's in control and ONLY He knows the future. He knew that I would get 3 embryos out of two cycles, instead of the 3 embryos out of 3 cycles. I'll take that!!! I don't know what you are going through, but God can handle it, IF you let Him. It won't be easy to give up control if you are holding on, but it will be worth it!! That is when real peace sets in. <3
These are not our embryos, but a photo of what embryos look like x two! We will get the image of our babies on the day of transfer!! Isn't life so cool!? How can we say there is no creator?! So fascinating!! #intelligentdesign
I did pretty well during the 6 days of waiting......three year old twins really help that along. But I would be lying if I didn't tell you that I had a few hours of sheer anxiety and fear come over me on Tuesday morning(the day we found out). I started thinking "what would I do if none of them made it?" I kept checking my portal for the details like a crazy person. All logic went OUT the window. I have basically convinced myself that I was on the call list.....FYI....the call list is bad....that is what they do if the info is bad....like your pregnancy test is negative(been there), or you have no embryos that have made it. I felt completely paralyzed and numb, like tingling all over for three hours. I felt sick and sad, alternating with moments of logic because of course this is sheer speculation, but also a very real possibility. I broke down. Don't forget the crazy hormones, they sure don't help a girl out. Then, I checked again, and there it was, two babies. One 3BB and one 2BB. My two embryos and in that moment, I looked at my sister and said....there are two. I sent a screen shot to Rocky and called balling. Like the real ugly one. It is a roller coaster, but this ride gave me my Hew and Harry, and I would do again 10 x over just to be their mommy!!!
This number 2 means so much to me because when we started this year we went into it planning on 4 different IVF cycles. We had the schedule(infertility is A LOT of precise scheduling) and planned on a cycle in January, April, July, and November. In April, my fave time of the month didn't come and I had to skip that one. I was devastated because I had my heart set on the 4 embryos, but those with infertility know all to well that your body just doesn't always cooperate(which feels like that part is basically all the time with a few moments of cooperation). I cried, but through this journey I have learned I am not in control, and never will be even if I pretend to be. So, I quickly gave it to God. It wasn't meant to be. I don't know the reason, but I trusted that God did. Sometimes we get ahead of God and that is where the biggest disappointments come because our expectations were misplaced. Fretting also wasn't going to get me anywhere(#beentheredonethat) and fretting actually means that I didn't actually trust that God had a better plan. So, when I saw TWO embryos(the cycle in January we got one), I knew God was saying to me....I got this.....once again. So, to most of you it is just a number, but to me it is one more reminder of many that a He's in control and ONLY He knows the future. He knew that I would get 3 embryos out of two cycles, instead of the 3 embryos out of 3 cycles. I'll take that!!! I don't know what you are going through, but God can handle it, IF you let Him. It won't be easy to give up control if you are holding on, but it will be worth it!! That is when real peace sets in. <3
These are not our embryos, but a photo of what embryos look like x two! We will get the image of our babies on the day of transfer!! Isn't life so cool!? How can we say there is no creator?! So fascinating!! #intelligentdesign
